Dissections

Started at the Anatomy lab in Jefferson yesterday...

Smell wasn't too bad....I think it's probably the first time I encountered a really dead body...
I didn't throw up...

Left to train

Have you wondered how much we train? It's more than just the sessions we spend with a large group of people... as we are sitting in our little rooms we train our mind to be at home...we train our eyes to familiarize itself with what it sees and not what we think it sees....we train our noses to appreciate smells which eventually fade....we train our ears to stay with the moment and avoid being carried away by sounds....we are constantly tasting this world between our tongue and palate....Lastly we're touching the keyboards which allow words to come through the vast infinite internet into computers the other side of the word....

Amazing huh?

The training that I've learned was hard....learning to use the left hand....sustained a flesh wound on right palm while training.... Noticed how awkward and uncomfortable it is to brush your teeth, wash dishes and even eat with only the left hand...

Never had to force myself to use the left hand before....the unnoticed....quietly ignorant hand....didn't know how to brush it's owner's teeth....even being attached for 2 decades....

So what other parts of us are ignorant?

So my motto of the month is SHOW YOUR IGNORANCE.... how uncomfortable can that be eh? Just the notion of it makes the ego shrivel and cringe....yay.... Why distort what you don't know to make it seem like you know....how stupid is that.....

Perhaps with time...we'll notice discomfort of ignorance when it arises....and allow that to be....not resist the mere temptation to defend this 'little-self' but defend a higher purpose to dispel the bliss of ignorance....be wise enough to sit still and watch every impermanent moment move unaffected through the mind....

It's never too late to learn....

Day by day

The energy we invest day by day,

How much of it is moving us in the direction of tranquility,

How much of it is throwing us into chaos,

How much of this is real,

How much of this is just what we think is real,

See the energy we put into shrinking our world,

With a mind contantly obsessed with,

Why does this have to happen to me?

Who made that mess?

What bullshit I have to put up with?

Who do you think you are?

Why can't that be me?

See the energy we arouse to expand our world and ask,

Which teacher should I listen to?

What skills should I sharpen?

What habits should I rid of?

Which obsessions are holding me back?

All the energy we waste to shrink our cosmos,

All the energy that brings about the turning of the wheel,

Do you want to keep being the cause of your own suffering

Continually angry, continually greedy, continually ignorant....

Day by day by day....

Never thought that life could be lived with so few worries... so thankful for the peace found in buddhist meditation...for seeking refuge in somewhere that actually makes a lot of sense....something that actually proves that it's possible to rest in peace...in the comforts of your bedroom...and not in the comfort of a coffin

So things are coming to a conclusion....

Last day at the lab....well...officially decided to just not work anymore...

Concluded the adventure of searching for a religion...just found one....

Decided to admit that I'm really going to the US....flight tickets are booked....

Ceading to be too obsessed with taichi....understanding things in perspective...profound it may be....but it can also be abused...

All that is subject to arising....is subject to passing away.... so this is it... I've come to realise....endings and beginnings are one and the same...just these cycles we've traversed not once but many times.....we are just so unaware of it...

Just read something I'm just beginning to be aware of....

Awareness is your refuge

Awareness of the changingness of feelings,

of attitudes, of moods, of material change, and emotional change

Stay with that, because it's a refuge that is indestructible

It's not something that changes

It's a refuge you can trust in

This refuge is not something that you create

It's not a creation. It's not an ideal

It's very practical and very simple

but

easily overlooked or not noticed

When you are mindful

you're beginning to notice

it's like this

Sometimes indeed we're so unattentive, we're don't even know we're unattentive...

So see the nature of things....as they are....not through dirty window...

Wipe it clean....try meditation... try to be still....to be calm....wisdom will flow

There's no need to force....to control....to dictate....just be totally aware of life....this moment....the minutes taken to read these words....the time it takes to chew a morsel of food....or better yet...the seconds it take to breathe in and out.....

There's this saying about how we should only hold on to something as long as it's useful.....as long as it serves a purpose...

Lately I've learned that....there's nothing that's really worth clinging on to...nothing...as long as there's desire...there's suffering....

It's truly amazing where the truth leads....when you see the reality....the complete non-sugar coated truth.....

Every moment is truly precious...not one is wasted...

There's a time and place for everything.....but listening to your heart....the one thing that truly doesn't lie....we call it logic...we call it common sense...but so deluded we are by the 5 senses...and the monkey mind...that our view is clouded....

Of course...cognition...it one thing.....understanding...is another...the beginning of understanding is truly excellent...

Just in case you're wondering what is it I'm talking about....

The Buddha, the Dhamma and the happiest people I know...the monks

Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing, nor upon tradition, nor upon rumor, nor upon scripture, nor upon surmise, nor upon axiom, nor upon specious reasoning, nor upon bias towards a notion pondered over, nor upon another's seeming ability, nor upon the consideration - Buddha's Charter of Free Inquiry

Well that's still most of our life...it's too easy to follow....and very hard to lead

Only hope to correct one view...mine.....for now....